This morning was my morning for a lie in. The Man has a day off today & so it was his job to get up with the noisy baby one. We're having a bit of 'peace & quiet' (a purely relative term) as Eldest is at my Mother in Law's for a few days.
As I laid in bed about 8am, drifting in & out of sleep because I could hear the baby girl crying downstairs as the Man prepared her bottles I was suddenly woken by a BANG BANG on the wall.
Did the neighbours just bang on the wall?
No, they wouldn't have. Would they?
This was followed by muffled voices. A woman in an annoyed tone & a man's voice in what sounded like a reasoning tone.
Oh my god, they did bang on the wall.
They must think I neglect my baby.
Granted, given all the depression bullshit, I have trouble getting to sleep on an evening & so some mornings baby girl will have been crying for 15-20 minutes as I wake.
Shit. How do I explain this to them? I'm not a child abuser, I'm just tired.
& besides, she's been ill for the past few days.
Good lord I must explain this to them at once! I mean, they don't have kids.. what if they can't have kids & they get woken up every morning by our baby crying? Are the walls that thin? What if they've recently lost a baby? What if they hate kids & we're here bugging them with our reproductive prowess? What if it's been building up & up & up & they just can't take it any more...?
God, are we inconsiderate knobheads?
As I mulled this over, thinking of writing them a letter or going round to explain or apologise & getting increasingly upset I realised I should probably go & tell the Man. He always knows what to do.
I told him what had happened & what I was worrying about & at once he dispelled all my anxieties in a simple statement.
"Well, even if that is so.. it's not our fault. Babies cry."
Oh yeah. Babies do cry. Quite loudly sometimes. & as for depression, that's not my fault either.
& then I got to thinking...
Maybe they were wound up & tired, or maybe they do have problems or maybe they are just first class twats. But whatever the situation, they didn't give the amount of thought or worry I gave to them when they banged on the wall this morning. They probably didn't think: 'Well, what if she's depressed? or what if the baby is ill? or what if the baby just cries on a morning because it's a baby?'
I should have just friggin' well banged back & not given a toss, but then maybe that would make me like them.
So my baby cries.
She's happy, healthy, loved & cared for, but she cries & sometimes I'm tired.
So you can just about bloody well sod off.